It almost makes sense if you don’t think too hard about it. Has anyone earned five stars? How about one? CS:GO Confidential, here we go!

Astralis | ☆ ☆

The four Michelin stars only serve as a reminder of how good this restaurant used to be. There is a stale, rotten quality to their food, and some of the personnel should not be anywhere close to the industry. The return of Tom Cruise as a regular customer adds a sprinkling of red stardust, but the only way to enjoy this place is if you learn how to disregard the stench.

BIG | ☆

Bratwurst und Käse, ja? Nein, danke.

NiP | ☆ ☆

It’s a well-known maxim among restaurateurs that non-stop staff turnover makes it impossible to create an inviting establishment. There’s always a new face and you can never be sure if your favorite meal will still be available the next time you come to visit, and the chef’s undeniable sex appeal isn’t enough to make it a worthwhile night out.

FaZe Clan | ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

The self-proclaimed „best fucking restaurant” of 2022, FaZeDonalds’s fast food had an undeniable culinary quality to it, with glitz and glamour to match the addictive tastes. However, the quality of their ingredients took a nosedive in the second half of the year, and it remains to be seen whether they’ve got some nice new salsa sauce to spice things up.

Heroic | ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

A loud, brash bar for people looking for a strong drink, their late 2022 vintage was the best yet. The great atmosphere means there’s always an opportunity for a party. Apart from the one time they’ve had a burst pipeline in the bathroom, there’s little to complain about.

G2 | ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Gigantic chefs serve up spicy meals, which are close to perfection when they get the flavor balance right. However, past visits suggest that there’s still a risk they overcook your meal, but they’re on the right track to earn that fifth star should they continue to expand their menu.

Complexity | ☆

The former juggernaut of a franchise is only serving up scrapes now. Avoid.

NAVI | ☆ ☆ ☆

The sad reality of an armed conflict in the region has severely strained the supply lines of this establishment, and their new chef constantly oversalts the food. Still, there’s nothing like watching a culinary wizard perform his duties in a way only he can, which makes up for a lot of shortcomings.

OG | ☆ ☆ ☆

They need to do some sort of deep cleaning or install some air filtration because the staff’s constant choking is simply unacceptable.

Team Liquid | ☆ ☆

Last year’s Baltic seafood intake has greatly improved the menu here, but the new seven-course wine selection is so awful that it ruined our entire experience when we last visited. Sometimes, less is more.

Team Vitality | ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Importing Israeli grain for their signature baguette was a culinary masterstroke last year, and their greens have always been excellent: you can always come here for a reliably good meal, and the new recipes seem especially tasty. It’s a shame the staff is rude, shouting all the time.

Evil Geniuses | 🚫