Esports News

Luci Kelemen
Written By: Luci Kelemen

Telling tales of esports, one word at a time, six years and counting

January 7th, 2020

It’s a brand new year – and a fresh decade, depending on who you ask –, one which begins with a pair of DPC events. It goes to show that the Dota train never truly stops, and with so many big teams already back in the action, one has to wonder whether they’ve had the game on mind during the holidays. What if they tailored their New Year’s resolution to their career and passion? What would their vows be for 2020? We took a few educated guesses…

Big promises from across the world

EG: Keep the “worst rebrand of the decade” award

It was a hard-fought contest with Nigma, and LGD also had a pretty strong late entry, but the org behind Arteezy and co. has done the impossible and secured a spot on the Aegis of Imbeciles awarded at The International Marketing Show. Or something like that. It will take some incredible performances in the servers to get the limelight off of the wedgelephant in the room, but seeing how the team managed to break its third-place curse at Singapore, maybe there’s hope for them yet.

Fighting PandaS: Make fewer Pepega plays

2019’s most awesome team name was lost, but the spirit of Pepega remains. The goal for this squad has to be to avoid a situation where they fiftEE/fiftEE themselves out of a tournament.

NiP: Make it to a Major directly for once

Seriously, aren’t y’all bored of making it so hard for yourselves? It’s getting way too predictable at this point. Like that famous quote about football, DPC Minors are events where teams play for 90 hours and the Ninjas always win.

TNC: Make SEA great (again)

Build a wall of strong DPC showings and make Valve pay for it! The Philippine side has gone from strength to strength this season, with a chance to keep up the pace at DreamLeague S13. Doing so would undoubtedly secure their spot at TI10 – though they’re likely already good on that front – while also cementing them as a top tier challenger. Short-termism? Just strike while the iron is hot.

VP: Stop the choke

You’ve already mastered the art of making it to TI, a myriad of ways to get the golden ticket. Now it’s time to figure out how to make use of it. Deep breaths. Confidence. What else is there to improve on for this storied side than their performances at the Super Bowl of Dota?

Liquid dota 2
Dota 2
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Team Secret: Don’t bring back MidOne again

Or if you do, follow the flowchart all the way to VP’s resolution and go from there. Seriously though, you know it’s never the same it used to be when you go back to your ex. Resist the temptation of one-night stand-ins.

Nigma: We will find a way to change our name without losing face

Star or no star, this whole thing is bullsh*t. This team is too good to go down the edgelord route, and one has to hope they’re simply looking for a nice way out from this branding predicament.

Vici Gaming: Update the Dead Yang strat

It’s a surefire way to guarantee the TI10 title.

OG: Show up or something

Edging your way to a TI with minimal DPC contact along the way may be arousing to you, but it’s not necessarily pleasing the audience. Please think of all the teenagers in the audience…

Photo credit: Valve